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Before you stands a human sized Penguin, wearing a bright red cape with
a large yellow S on it.

What is even stranger are the two small fangs protruding from
his beak. You consider craning your neck to get a better look,
but you think better of it. Very wise, for this is the only
Vampire SuperPenguin you have ever heard of...

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail58.html

Notorious throughout the galaxy, Han Solo has been a starship pilot, smuggler,
pirate, and target for bounty hunters. A canny gambler and a terriffic sabbacc
player, he sometimes makes the mistake of putting his money where his mouth is.
Fortunatly he usually wins.
Lured by the promises of rewards, he wound up a hero of the rebellion against
the Galatic Empire. If he was entertaining thoughts of leaving, he never showed
them. Eight years after the rescue attempt aboard the first Death Star, Han
finally had to make a choice about his relationship with Leia, because he was
challanged by a rival who could offer her more than he ever could.
Han may not have believed in the force at one tim but something believed in him
Han has now been dealt a difficult hand through his union with the princess
Leia, he will have to use all of his wits to keep them alive let alone survive
what the princess will put him through. NOw he realizes how lucky he had been up till now...
Still wearing his trusty blaster at his side and a cocky half-smile on his face
the galaxy has been one tough sabbacc game, and he is still holding the winning
hand!